Fakebook Pussy of the Week!
***WARNING THIS BLOG CONTAINS AN IMAGE OF AN ASSHOLE***
Hola Campers!!! So the other day I was doin' what I do - scrollin' down my Social Network wall lookin' for fun and exciting posts to comment on - as I'm sure you all do (at least from time to time). When I came upon a post that read: In your opinion, what is the most attractive sexual organ on the opposite sex? (and before you read my answer I KNOW, I KNOW HUGE red flag - however) I answered it anyway and typed: The brain. Then I kept it moving and continued to look for fun posts to leave my *witty* mark.
Now I'm not sure about you Campers, however many times my Social Network notifications don't always alert me as to how many "Likes" I got or if someone has even commented on a post of mine (that's why sometimes I don't respond to your comments). So anyhoo, later that evening I got a message in my inbox that read: Congratulations Carlita your comment "the brain" was the winner!
And I was like, "Yeah? So send me my $25Gs Alex! Or who gives a fuck?" But being in a good mood I decided to be gracious and putting on my halo I replied, "Gee thanks. So what do I get? And please say $$$!!!"
And Campers after that note is when it all went awry. Ya see, dude then sent me a note introducing himself as guess what? Yes, a writer/blogger too! So I was like cool as bloggers we have to stick together so I responded and said, "I too have a blog, it's a bit on the racy side but certainly all in good fun - UNLESS... LOL" Then I attached the link.
So dude popped in (I was for once online) and said "Sounds great I'll check it out tonight. And by the way I have a group called The Brain-Power Group where we discuss issues and I'd love to add you."
And me being me always looking to expand my audience said "Sure, sounds great." And that was that I was in. So then the following day I was a part of that Savage Ass James Truthpaste's obtuse dialogue about "Hollywood teaching our kids morals" and it struck me, ask a question in regards to this topic on the groups that I belong too and see if the rest of the people I come in contact with are as odd, dated in their thought process, and out of touch with reality as the vast majority of the savages on Truthpaste; so I posted a question.
And wouldn't you know it about 2 hours later I got a message in my inbox from the Brain-Power Group dude saying, "Carlita I would appreciate if you did not post such controversial issues on The Brain-Power Group." And yes Campers I was like "What the fuck kinda issues are for the fucking Brain then?" So I went to the group reread the profile and said, "OK my question seems to fall within the parameters."
BUT BUT BUT Man O Man was I wrong, because after I read each question posted by the groups creator (which had ZERO responses) I noticed they were ALL about sex. Each question asked about "What size penis feels best?" "Do you prefer it wet or not so much?" "What makes you orgasm?" You know *noneofyourfuckingbusiness* shit like that. I swear Campers as I type this shit I can tell you that this lousy mutha fucka's true intention with The Brain-Power Group was to seek out a chick who had no fucking brains but who might be dumb the fuck enough to give his old ass some "Cyber-Brain."
So after I read the questions and almost peed myself from the actual gall of this joke of a perved out dickweed, I wrote him back and said, "Oh LOL OK... I like to discuss real issues and discussing my personal life and sexual preferences isn't up for discussion within a group of STRANGErs. So thanks for the invite I shall remove myself and my question!"
Then he wrote me back like, "I'm sorry that you feel that way I think you could make a real contribution to the group blah blah blah."
And I was like, "Naaahhh I couldn't, but thanks and have a good day!"
But then this perved out mutha fucka wrote me back and said, "Well I still invite you to read my blog and I must apologize because after reading your writing I got the impression that you are a free thinking, mature, highly sexual, and sensuous woman who didn't mind openly discussing her sexual desires in a group setting. But if you ever feel like sharing with me privately just inbox me."
DOOOOHHHH!!!!!!!! What the fuck did this mutha fucka just write? To me? Is this pervert on CRACK or what? Because Campers I challenge ANYONE of you to point out 1 blog where I "openly discussed" my sexual desires? I laughed my fucking ass off UNTIL I got heated. How dare that old mutha fucka try to get in my cyber panties with a pack of lies? Some BULLSHIT lies at that?
Now Campers if this was real life I'd probably have to cut him (with a knife) however this is the Internet and I am a Wordsmith so I used my fingertips and wrote: Wow, that sounds like an insult if you ask me. And I know by this asinine note that you've NEVER read any of my blogs because trust, me showing my sensuousness has never come up. So please don't try to Bullshit a bullshitter. Because YES I am a free thinking highly sophisticated woman and my thought provoking query on your groups wall proved as much. HOWEVER I don't know you, you ain no sex therapist nor are my inner desires any of your fucking business. As far as I can tell you are one of the many Fakebook Pussy's whose perved out intention is to try to engage me in cyber sex which frankly is just for old ugly washed up unhappily married losers who thinks that labeling his group Brain-Power will trick a chick into giving you what you want. Well you asshole, sorry you got the wrong one, because I do use my brain and it hardly takes any to see through your bullshit. You betta ask somebody because trying to cyber fuck me will get your ass put on blast for at the very least 500 hundred of my readers to see. And BTW I looked at your snoozfest of a blog, could it be anymore boring? If I were you instead of blogging about politics and shit that is way out of your lane I'd blog about my dick because it hardly takes any "Brain-Power" to do that and this exchange has proven you're a fucking moron.
So Campers without further ado and hardly anymore words (I know the blog's long) I present to you the dumbest, oldest, (an y'all know if he's older than me he ain't got a prayer - a hem 28 y/o Pápí) fucktard, pervert on Fakebook lately:
That's it for me Campers! Until our next camp out enjoy the wine and trees and if you get a chance buy my juicy new book "No Love Lost" the links are on the top right of this blog. And remember the fires always burning here at Carlita's Camp!
Hola Campers!!! So the other day I was doin' what I do - scrollin' down my Social Network wall lookin' for fun and exciting posts to comment on - as I'm sure you all do (at least from time to time). When I came upon a post that read: In your opinion, what is the most attractive sexual organ on the opposite sex? (and before you read my answer I KNOW, I KNOW HUGE red flag - however) I answered it anyway and typed: The brain. Then I kept it moving and continued to look for fun posts to leave my *witty* mark.
Now I'm not sure about you Campers, however many times my Social Network notifications don't always alert me as to how many "Likes" I got or if someone has even commented on a post of mine (that's why sometimes I don't respond to your comments). So anyhoo, later that evening I got a message in my inbox that read: Congratulations Carlita your comment "the brain" was the winner!
And I was like, "Yeah? So send me my $25Gs Alex! Or who gives a fuck?" But being in a good mood I decided to be gracious and putting on my halo I replied, "Gee thanks. So what do I get? And please say $$$!!!"
And Campers after that note is when it all went awry. Ya see, dude then sent me a note introducing himself as guess what? Yes, a writer/blogger too! So I was like cool as bloggers we have to stick together so I responded and said, "I too have a blog, it's a bit on the racy side but certainly all in good fun - UNLESS... LOL" Then I attached the link.
So dude popped in (I was for once online) and said "Sounds great I'll check it out tonight. And by the way I have a group called The Brain-Power Group where we discuss issues and I'd love to add you."
And me being me always looking to expand my audience said "Sure, sounds great." And that was that I was in. So then the following day I was a part of that Savage Ass James Truthpaste's obtuse dialogue about "Hollywood teaching our kids morals" and it struck me, ask a question in regards to this topic on the groups that I belong too and see if the rest of the people I come in contact with are as odd, dated in their thought process, and out of touch with reality as the vast majority of the savages on Truthpaste; so I posted a question.
And wouldn't you know it about 2 hours later I got a message in my inbox from the Brain-Power Group dude saying, "Carlita I would appreciate if you did not post such controversial issues on The Brain-Power Group." And yes Campers I was like "What the fuck kinda issues are for the fucking Brain then?" So I went to the group reread the profile and said, "OK my question seems to fall within the parameters."
BUT BUT BUT Man O Man was I wrong, because after I read each question posted by the groups creator (which had ZERO responses) I noticed they were ALL about sex. Each question asked about "What size penis feels best?" "Do you prefer it wet or not so much?" "What makes you orgasm?" You know *noneofyourfuckingbusiness* shit like that. I swear Campers as I type this shit I can tell you that this lousy mutha fucka's true intention with The Brain-Power Group was to seek out a chick who had no fucking brains but who might be dumb the fuck enough to give his old ass some "Cyber-Brain."
So after I read the questions and almost peed myself from the actual gall of this joke of a perved out dickweed, I wrote him back and said, "Oh LOL OK... I like to discuss real issues and discussing my personal life and sexual preferences isn't up for discussion within a group of STRANGErs. So thanks for the invite I shall remove myself and my question!"
Then he wrote me back like, "I'm sorry that you feel that way I think you could make a real contribution to the group blah blah blah."
And I was like, "Naaahhh I couldn't, but thanks and have a good day!"
But then this perved out mutha fucka wrote me back and said, "Well I still invite you to read my blog and I must apologize because after reading your writing I got the impression that you are a free thinking, mature, highly sexual, and sensuous woman who didn't mind openly discussing her sexual desires in a group setting. But if you ever feel like sharing with me privately just inbox me."
DOOOOHHHH!!!!!!!! What the fuck did this mutha fucka just write? To me? Is this pervert on CRACK or what? Because Campers I challenge ANYONE of you to point out 1 blog where I "openly discussed" my sexual desires? I laughed my fucking ass off UNTIL I got heated. How dare that old mutha fucka try to get in my cyber panties with a pack of lies? Some BULLSHIT lies at that?
Now Campers if this was real life I'd probably have to cut him (with a knife) however this is the Internet and I am a Wordsmith so I used my fingertips and wrote: Wow, that sounds like an insult if you ask me. And I know by this asinine note that you've NEVER read any of my blogs because trust, me showing my sensuousness has never come up. So please don't try to Bullshit a bullshitter. Because YES I am a free thinking highly sophisticated woman and my thought provoking query on your groups wall proved as much. HOWEVER I don't know you, you ain no sex therapist nor are my inner desires any of your fucking business. As far as I can tell you are one of the many Fakebook Pussy's whose perved out intention is to try to engage me in cyber sex which frankly is just for old ugly washed up unhappily married losers who thinks that labeling his group Brain-Power will trick a chick into giving you what you want. Well you asshole, sorry you got the wrong one, because I do use my brain and it hardly takes any to see through your bullshit. You betta ask somebody because trying to cyber fuck me will get your ass put on blast for at the very least 500 hundred of my readers to see. And BTW I looked at your snoozfest of a blog, could it be anymore boring? If I were you instead of blogging about politics and shit that is way out of your lane I'd blog about my dick because it hardly takes any "Brain-Power" to do that and this exchange has proven you're a fucking moron.
So Campers without further ado and hardly anymore words (I know the blog's long) I present to you the dumbest, oldest, (an y'all know if he's older than me he ain't got a prayer - a hem 28 y/o Pápí) fucktard, pervert on Fakebook lately:
That's it for me Campers! Until our next camp out enjoy the wine and trees and if you get a chance buy my juicy new book "No Love Lost" the links are on the top right of this blog. And remember the fires always burning here at Carlita's Camp!
aww, you broke grandpa's heart
Reply to this
LOL Granddad ain't got no heart... Thanks for reading and commenting!
Reply to this
That was too hilarious! The nerve of the asshole.
Reply to this
Denise you ain't neva lied! How dare he try to lure me in with some BS? Old men make me sick and I swear I thought they had only worms!!! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Reply to this
LMAO NICE CARLITA LOL...
Reply to this
Datrice you know how we do! We can't let such and infraction go checked. LOL Thanks for reading and commenting!!
Reply to this
WHERE IS THE DAMN "LOVE" BUTTON????
You burned his sorry ass to a CRISP!!! HA!
BITCH ASS PERV! I bet his dick is the size of his baby finger!
Reply to this
OK! Thanks Yah Yahh! I SO HOPE he reads it! Although we don't share anymore friends. Oh well. LOL But he does have the link and he knew it was coming because I told him, maybe he'll check it out. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Reply to this
ROFLMAO!!!!!!...Get em Sis!!!!!
Hell to the motha fucken NAW!!!...This motha fucka needed to be put on blast with his ole fake self!!!
I'm not going to attempt to add anything, because you really did talk about his ass up really well!
Let this be a lesson to anyone who thinks that the internet is completely safe, that there are real lurkers, creeps and slimebuckets out there who will use any avenue of lying to get you!
p.s. i'm laughing so hard, my fingers are ticklish!!!!
Reply to this
Exactly Sis! I told him sadly old man you picked the wrong one! LOL I'm TELLIN'!!!! Thanks for reading and commenting - about to start my countdown! Love Ya.
Reply to this
Tell em Carlita!! LMAO!! This made my day. LOL!
Reply to this
LOL I'm glad Candice, that was my intent, not excluding the fact that it is a warning to those of us who use the Social Networks for fun and mingling... Thanks for reading and commenting!
Reply to this
Aaaaaaahahahaha! ROFLMAO again! Funny. Someone will b getting earplugs for Christmas since they got put on BLASTTTTTT!
Reply to this
LOL You know some fools just gots to learn the hardway... I swear when will these perverts get a clue? Thanks for reading and commenting Mark, Love you much!!! Happy Holidays!
Reply to this
Wow amazing u r my sheriff thanks 4 exposing a FB pussy!
Reply to this
Thanks for reading and commenting Zoe! And I will certainly wear the sheriffs badge with honor and continue to out all the savages who feel that trying to sexually harass women online is suitable and acceptable. I swear some people are nuts!
Reply to this
That was some funny shit! Bwahahahaha!
Reply to this
LOL Thank You Shelley! You know somebodies gotta say it! Thank you for reading and commenting! I love you!
Reply to this
LOL...I was on the floor, eyes watering.. girl this is fabulous.."Negro the circus called they want there dumb ass clown back". I love you Carlita and I love to read anything you write.. You are destined for greatness, believe that... will you hire me if you get there first... Cuz as soon as I am in a position I'm coming to look for you.. I loved this BLOG!!!
Reply to this
Thank You Kim!!! You know it means EVERYTHING coming from you! I say let's work together on something crazy! Let's do this together girl, me and you???!!! But if I do for some crazy reason make it before you, YOU ARE HIRED! I write it, you deliver it - a lethal combination if I do say so myself... And PLEASE if I'm slow to the gate save me once you get there. I won't let you down. Can only imagine the stories I can live if I had some damn money?! LOL I love you too!! But really we oughtta try to do a Blogtalk show or something - think about it! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Reply to this
*ROTF-LMAO* ABSOLUTE GOLD, Carlita!!!!
Reply to this
Awww Thank You Brotherr!!! I try to be a bit Rumpelstiltskinish... Thanks for reading and commenting!
Reply to this
lmfao... Awesome!
Reply to this
Thanks for reading and commenting Charlie! I'm glad you're laughing. I love to write the laughs!
Reply to this
I don't even have to ask, do I? I am confident that this dude will turn up as the inspiration for a deviant in a future novel.
LOL!
Reply to this
Hi Anita Thank for reading! And YES YES YES this fool is fodder for one of my future tales. He was awful so between him and the other fools who troll the net looking for unsuspecting victims to perv out on I'm sure I'll have a well rounded character! LOL And THANK YOU for buying my book and I'm so happy that you enjoyed it... Happy New Year!
Reply to this