So please check out the new page!
However, like most sane love filled people with an awesome sense of humor and not alotta time on their hands your counselor quickly became bored with reading the dozens of fake profiles, evil memes, lack of creative racial attacks, blatant lies, self hate and incessant projecting she did what any bored person would do, she joined in. But not wanting to leave her comedic mark on any ole racist post she carefully scrolled the wall and finally and after an extensive search she found a post she could have a good time with. The title of the post was an old favorite she'd participated in, in other groups she had once belonged to called "Smash or Pass" and when usually played the picture is of someone that normally isn't everyone's type but they do catch for whatever reason, however this War of the Races 2 (And it was posted by a white person - more on that down Blog) installment looked like this:
**Notice the little baby in the picture & notice how I clicked "like" on the dude Jake D. Parsons who was the 1st to comment enthusiastically & typed "SMASH"
So your counselor is not nearly as uncomfortable with the image starring at her in the face (because she has one of her own -mind you she doesn't put it on display like the girl from the group War of the Races 2 did for all to see but she certainly isn't uncomfortable by seeing it. She actually finds it Hilarious and used this very image every chance she got - 47 times before she got banned from Facebook for 18 hours but I'm speeding WAY ahead therefore I digress) as most of you may be right now she quickly scrolled down to start in with the roasting or make a comment if you will. But before your counselor could giggle and receive her kudos (likes) for having the funniest comment in the thread she was quickly attacked by the same horny dude who proudly made the 1st comment stating "SMASH." So being the warrior princess that your counselor is she quickly retorted and the real war of the races began...
And since the shots were fired and Jake was so "Butthurt" as the Innertz seem to be labeling everyone as of late your counselor suddenly found herself under attack by 1 sick ass troglodyte after another.
**Now Campers, this is the part of the Blog I'm not sure how to present because there is such a randy cast of characters that take unsolicited corny ass jabs at your counselor that its sort of hard to continue if you do not know who is who. So what I'll do is pause the narrative and introduce you to the people who made this Blog possible by revealing their Facebook oops might I say Fakebook ID's and real portraits.
And since Jake was the 1st person to attack and yeah yeah he's all hidden behind his "symbol" that didn't stop me from enlisting the help of a friend of mine who just happens to be an awesome IT guy so after a little bit of work because Jake's personal page is locked down pretty tight my IT guy was able to do something with the IP address most of Jakes messages were derived. And low and behold after getting inside Jake's account your counselor quickly saved this picture of him from last summer while he was chillaxing in his native Ireland under the limited sun.
And because Jake is a big fat load who cannot fight his own battles he inboxed a few friends who you'll see in the forth coming images and comments but to give you an idea of who your counselor was embattled with I'll post the real them so you'll completely overstand what has happened here.
This is Kelly Jay the tough girl from Scotland (she was easier to locate than Jake because she at least put her towns name on her profile) and she LOVES to call people "nigger" and assume we're jealous of her HILARIOUS although she went out of her way to garner Black features. Behold the lips she bought 30 years ago and how they've over taken her now. Age is a real mutha ---for ya...
Then there's Melody Duggins who was constantly claiming she was single and waiting on a husband for some lovin', but after finally gaining access to her account your counselor and the IT guy found this:
Melody and her pup enthralled in coitus. Come to find out Melody is the President of an exclusive group of Victoria Secret's sales clerks who are Caninphiles so they refers to themselves as "Ka-Niners" ---your counselor has no idea of what it means maybe if the dog's head was pointed South - ih well as previously stated your counselor has no idea of what it is...
And another random hag that attacked your counselor in some language not remotely close to English (but thought she'd put your counselor in her place) was Roxy Leigh Isted the Hooker whom I can't really comment about because ho's gotta earn too..
You know what Campers? I need to stop - I can feel me just being mean and skipping the meat of this horrid yet soon to be hilarious tale. Because this story is actually a saga so I think for sanity's sake I'm gonna end here---- for now - sorry no witty jokes or funny facts or hints of what's to soon come but I think this tale is better told in chunks because much like one of my travel blogs a story can't properly be told if there are so many elements and the word count exceeds people patience. Therefore until tomorrow or Monday (I promise) Enjoy the wine & trees....
Aloha Campers!!! I'm just touching base to say it's been fun but I gotta run! I am rolling up the old tent and calling it quits for Carlita's Camp. No specific reasons but let's just say ALL BAD THINGS COME TO A SCREECHING END especially when the time proves to be an enemy - not to mention just the worst luck ever - but NO matter things will change as they always do. Now back to plotting planning scheming and surviving, but at least you can see I survive with the best of them. Remember to enjoy the wine & trees as I'll always enjoy the ocean's breeze... See you all on the other side!!!
Aloha Campers! First, before I get started allow me to type FUCKIN’ FINALLY! I’m Fuckin’ Finally posting on this Blog. Yes I’m back at it - making life happen and telling the stories that fueled it.
So Campers and new people AKA soon-to-be Campers to recap, when we last camped out I was giving you my 90 Day Bitch, which for those of you who are new to camp, were the first 90 days of what turned out to be one of the most prolific times in my life. An experience I can’t wait to share over the next few months as I get back to Blogging about me, my life, and anything else I feel like talking about or sharing. But since this is the second term inauguration of www.carlitascamp.com I've decided to start the session off with 1 of my infamous lists. Because as I always say, the easiest way to get out some vital information in the shortest version is to compile a list. Therefore without further ado I present to you, “The First 30 Blog Titles of the New Carlita’s Camp.”
1. Shit I Wanted to Write About but Ain’t Have No Blog.
2. What Must My Romantic Life Be Like If the Most Interesting Person I’ve Met in Years Is the Result of a 1 Night Stand?
3. Don’t Ask Me About My Job, because I Refuse to Discuss It.
4. As I Was Saying…
5. “Straighten Tongue or Free Yourself From Presence…!!!”
6. Shyte Ignant Random MoFo’s Do to Piss Me Off…
7. Why Are So Many Computer Geeks Douche Bags?
8. Hawaii is a Wonderful Place
9. Tales From Chronic History
10. Flat the Fuck Out: The Post Offic Should Keep the Same Hours Nation Wide
11. 2012 Was Out of Control
12. Hazy Shades
13. The Sky is Bluer in Spain
14. Wondering Should I do a “redo” on my Facebook “Friends” List…
15. The Random Tale
16. Weird Fakebook Dudes Still Trying to Get On
17. I wanna Be so Famous My Family & I Communicate Via the Newspaper
18. The “If Florida is Where Blue Hairs Go to Die, than Hawaii is Where They Come to Rot” or “Fucking A, Will You Vulgarians Take a Bath Before Coming Out in Public?” Blog
19. Ahhh, The Inconvenience of Rural Living
20. I Miss My Rife.
21. Don’t Hate/No Hate, but Why Do Most of the Black Chicks on Major Network Popular TV Shows have Bad Hair?
22. Blogs I wanna Write but Haven’t Been Living EX: Revenge is the Best Revenge
23. My Favorite Part of Friday Nights is All the Gay Sex on TV.
24. People in Hawaii Love Their Mutts
25. Yeah Yeah Yeah, I Can Be a Dummy Too…
26. I Think I might Sleep Around
27. Is Trust a 4 Letter Word?
28. Beware of Busters, They Still Be a Lurkin’
29. Is It Me or Are You Getting Old?
30. The “I Think You’re a Pretentious Prick if You Assemble a ‘How To Find Your Soul Mate’ Book and You have Never had One’ or ‘FYI: It’s Not Writing if You Assemble OTHER People’s Research and Words.” Blog
Anyhoo Campers, that’s my list and I’ma try to stick to it. But if I don’t - such is life. Always remember, shit changes daily and people change by the minute. Needless to say, I’ve Changed… Therefore nothing is guaranteed except for the fact that I will write something, about something and I can’t wait to share with you. So tell your friends and family that Carlita’s Camp is back in session and I’m so looking forward to chopping it up and enjoying the wine, the ocean breeze, and as always the trees….
Aloha Campers, I'm BACK, Yay!! And whew, it's been a long time, but since it's my birthday what better gift to give to myself than a new blog filled with all new Carlita's Camp adventures. So Campers, grab your marshmallows, chocolate, wine and trees and get ready because trust me it's gonna be 1 hellava trip!